Our sessions run for 1 hour and 15 minutes—sometimes we go over, but we try hard to avoid that. Most practitioners run 50/60 minute sessions, but we find with two people to be heard, we are just getting into the heart of things at that point. Stopping feels unproductive and disappointing.
Yes, the minimum is four sessions. Couples begin with a joint session, followed by an individual session for each partner, before reconvening for another joint session. Ideally, these four intake sessions are completed over a 3–4 week period. Based on these initial sessions, your therapist will recommend a plan for moving forward, which typically includes ongoing couple sessions. If one partner requests an additional individual session, the same opportunity will be offered to the other partner to maintain balance.
While many couples experience the benefits of relationship counselling after just a few sessions, making those changes “stick” generally requires ongoing counselling. This allows you to apply the learnings and insights from your sessions “in real time” as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Attachment patterns and behaviours develop over your and your partner’s lifetimes, and it can take time to explore, understand, and work with them effectively together. It’s realistic to expect that the counselling process will require time and consistent attention.
We understand that for some couples the cost of counselling is an important factor in deciding whether to seek help and that it can be a lot of money for couples to find. Our fees reflect the longer length of our sessions, and the high level of training of our therapists.
We think high quality couple counselling is valuable in society but wish there were more opportunities for rebates from Medicare and Private Health Insurance for clients. However, in reality, as we have said elsewhere on this site, if couple counselling saves a relationship or saves a break-up from being toxic, then it is money well spent.
For lower income earners or couples under financial stress, we highly recommend government-subsidised organisations such as Relationships Australia.
We match clients with therapists based on availability to help you start promptly. Your preferred days and times are added to our contact list, and we’ll notify you when an appointment opens that suits your schedule. Being flexible can help secure an appointment sooner. Once allocated, your session time will remain consistent.
If you have a specific therapist in mind or want to learn more about their approach, please visit Our Team page. We will do our best to accommodate your request.
It’s essential to attend the first session together, as the success of therapy relies on building trust and ensuring neutrality. We’ll start by hearing your story as a couple, followed by individual sessions for each of you before resuming joint sessions.
Occasionally, additional individual sessions may be beneficial, but we always strive to balance these to maintain fairness and ensure neither partner feels the therapist is aligned with one over the other. Your confidence in our neutrality is a priority.
If more than two individual sessions are needed, your couple therapist may recommend referring you or your partner to another therapist for individual counselling, either within or outside the You, Me & Us team. Some couples may already have their own individual therapists. Once a therapist is engaged as your relationship therapist, their focus is exclusively on working with you as a couple.
People who don’t feel heard or appreciated in a relationship may try to talk to their partners in a way that comes across as critical. Hearing often how much your partner would like you to change can be dispiriting and disheartening.
A misconception many people have about counselling goes something like this: “If we go to counselling and I can explain what you are doing wrong, you’ll finally be forced to hear me, or the counsellor will explain it to you, and you’ll have to change and everything will become better.”
There is a tiny bit of truth in this – people do seem to hear each other better at relationship counselling. But counselling isn’t a place where one person is allowed to criticise and run down their partner at length. That would be destructive and at You, Me & Us we would see that as incredibly unproductive.
Our therapists focus on helping you to express your hurt, pain and frustration that drives the comments that your partner might hear as critical—you’ll be able to hear each other more easily and become closer.
Some clients worry that bringing up relationship counselling might hurt their partner’s feelings. In this situation, it can help to explain that you’re interested in counselling because your relationship is important to you. Reassure them that you both deserve to be in a loving, supportive relationship, and if professional support can help strengthen that connection, it’s worth exploring together.
You might also find it helpful to direct your partner to our website, including specific pages that outline what’s involved. This can provide a clearer understanding and help spark meaningful conversations about taking this step as a couple.
Yes, our therapists are experienced with working with neurodiverse individuals and their relationships. They are trained to understand and support the unique dynamics that can arise in neurodiverse partnerships, using evidence-based methods to ensure both partners feel heard, supported, and empowered.
Yes, our therapists work with many same-sex couples and understand both the universal nature of human attachment and the unique challenges that can arise in same-sex and gender-diverse relationships. We are mindful of the ways a largely “heteronormative” world can impact these relationships and strive to provide a supportive, inclusive space for all.
We cannot work with a couple if one partner has disclosed to their therapist that they are having an affair but refuses to disclose it to the other partner. Similarly, we are reluctant to work with couples where one or both individuals have severe mental health concerns, addiction issues, or where family violence is present. However, in such cases, while couple counselling may be appropriate, we would need to assess the situation carefully. If we proceed, it would typically be with the understanding that a separate practitioner provides individual support as needed.
Additionally, our therapists do not work with couples or families who are currently involved in Family Court proceedings.
It is fairly straightforward. If neither of you want to break up, we recommend you give relationship counselling a good try.
If one of you is leaning towards separation, but either of you sees a chance of working things out and staying together, discernment counselling is the most suitable option.
If your relationship has definitively and unequivocally ended, and you’re seeking support with custody and assets—while aiming to avoid court—mediation is what you’re looking for.
If you’ve separated and you are struggling, you may see us for break up support.
