Often, this involves focusing on the negatives of a once-loving relationship to “win.” Sadly, a court “win” can become a lasting loss for the family’s wellbeing, as the emotional wounds from the legal process tend to linger, making it harder to co-parent or move forward constructively.
Many separated couples know that going to court or relying on lawyers can be an expensive and often unproductive option. Unfortunately, they sometimes end up pursuing legal action when direct negotiation—or involving friends or family as informal “mediators”—doesn’t work.
Mediation is compulsory before court for parenting matters. Lawyers or courts often refer clients to Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). For property disputes, mediation isn’t mandatory but is increasingly seen as a cost-effective way to divide assets.
Mediation offers a voluntary, safe, professional, and neutral space for negotiation. Conversations that might escalate alone often remain calm and constructive with a mediator’s guidance.
Too many couples skip mediation and, when legal negotiations fail, find themselves in court. There, they may face a judge’s decision that feels unfair or disempowering. Court battles often lead to regret after significant financial and emotional costs.
Like court, mediation won’t provide everything you want, but it helps you reach a compromise you can live with. If mediation doesn’t result in an acceptable outcome, you can end the process, as it’s voluntary, and still pursue court if necessary. However, in most cases, mediation successfully resolves disputes.
No long waiting lists (as is the case with some big agencies). No waiting around for months on end to be seen. We give you the opportunity to get results and wrap up your case weeks or months sooner than with many of the agencies.
Trained to work in the Australian Family Law System, we understand the family law processes involved and are authorised to issue s60i certificates (if you end up needing one for Court).
With our deep understanding of different emotional realities and styles of relating, we are able to see your situation from both points of view, without being swayed or judgemental. Instead you can benefit from our ability to negotiate the situation in an unbiased manner.
We have mediated hundreds of cases and write easy-to-read and clear mediation agreements that you can take away for yourself or hand to you lawyers; We will also run lawyer-assisted mediations, in situations where you would like an advocate to be present. Lawyers do not have a voice at the table, but can be great to have on hand for advice during private breakouts.
Mediate effectively with a partner who does not live in Canberra or who does want to mediate in the same room. Have copies of your agreements in Microsoft Word and Excel read to edit or email on to other parties.
Whether you feel more comfortable being in the same room, or safer being separated in separate rooms or with one of you on the phone or videoconferencing, mediation makes it possible for you to have your voice heard, and empowers you to make constructive input into shaping your own future. If you are unhappy with how the process is going, you can terminate it without having to pay anyone else’s expensive legal costs.
You are the one who has to live with decisions made, so don’t let lawyers or a judge decide what happens with your future. Remember, plans made in mediation can be much more detailed. For example, in parenting orders made by the Court, orders may only outline basic dates and times, however you may find that afterwards there is still room for disagreement over the finer details.
It has been proven that mediation leads to less conflict in the long term. It is because of the way the legal system works—each wins a case by “proving” they are right and the other wrong. Or worse, winning by highlighting only the negatives of a once happy relationship or person you loved, in order to “win”. Unfortunately, a “win” at Court is often a “loss” for the future wellbeing of the whole separated family as hurts from the Court process linger.
You are the one who has to live with decisions made, so don’t let lawyers or a judge decide what happens with your future. Remember, plans made in mediation can be much more detailed. For example, in parenting orders made by the Court, orders may only outline basic dates and times, however you may find that afterwards there is still room for disagreement over the finer details.
The family law regulations provide strict guidelines about the confidentiality and admissibility of things said at mediation—unfortunately only accredited FDRPs receive these protections. Non-accredited mediators, counsellors and psychologists do not offer you the same confidentiality protections that that a FDRP can.
And at a fraction of the cost of returning to Court or lawyers. Clients find that once they have been to mediation with us, they are happy to come back and sort out any future problems as they begin, before they get out of hand.
Our mediators are trained in child informed mediation and use it where necessary—judiciously and carefully—to offer your children the chance to speak out about their future, their wants and their needs, free from pressure. Melanie Sheehan, Psychologist and Family Therapist, also provides Child Sessions at our centre for mediations.
